Diego Palma

I feel like the many level for that question actually But in the deeper level, ahm… It could… Love could be a synonymous of gratitude, harmony, peace, expansion… Or pervading awareness. In that level. In other level, it’s love as we know, “I love you”. It’s a difficult question, because it’s just a concept,  and has been manipulated too many, many, many ways. So, it means different even emotions, for other people love is fear. “Why did you leave me, if I love you?”  Why are you perceiving that? What kind of understanding about love? You know?. It doesn’t come from in a deeper level. We’re using the same world, you know It is there. It was always there. It is part of what is. So it doesn’t really come from anywhere.  you know, In this deeper level of love, you know? We add things on to it. And we cover it. You know?  But it is, it is, it is there. It is always at reach. It’s always there.  you think your breath is in your silence, your appreciation is moment to moment is there You don’t need to grasp it from outside. It’s all already there.  How do they connect to love? How do they connect to love? You’re looking for ways to connect to love, to show people how to connect to love… First is the very important, the understanding, you know, that love is… Is already there in… In experience, it’s there. Because you keep thinking that it comes from outside, then…You’re making a wrong assumption. In the first time, in the first place. In the way that I perceive it, it’s like a one way of, of connecting is peeling out all the layers that you add on top. And you peel out, what remains is… Is your essence, and your essence is completely pervaded with love, in the sense that we are speaking. So, I will perceive it like a beautiful way really to… Start peeling out what is not. Self-inquire. Asking yourself… What is true? What is real? What I hold to be real? And, I start like peeling out everything that is not.  One layer would be the assumption that love comes from the outside, for example. Realizing it, peeling out of your system.

It could be an easy process it could be a difficult process. It depends on how strong you are attached to what you are trying to peel away to deconstruct, to the program of your system. If you allow yourself to really peel out everything you are humble enough or vulnerable enough to really be naked and, and honestly you want to see the truth or what it is, you know to peel out everything that is not. It’s going to be a more easier process if you want to hold to your ideas and concepts and beliefs about reality because you don’t want to go there maybe it’s not your moment but if you try it’s going to be a bumpy experience.

What is reality? You know you cannot put words into that when you say it’s like what is life, what is reality, what is awareness. You are going to fail dramatically trying to put concepts on that that’s what he is it’s like what is happening now no you cannot really put it into words so we can say that in one level your reality is unique, nobody sees things as you see them. You are unique, the reality is like a print of uniqueness in everyone so and then you have like a consensus reality and people think in the same way and they think oh this is reality but it’s just a bunch of people agreeing in one aspect thinking that they are green one aspect that when actually everybody sees things in a completely different unique ways.

Ego is like um one way we can say is that dysfunctional relationship with the present moment. Ego is the way you perceive yourself, the way you understand yourself in the eyes of the other, in your own eyes ego is everything that makes you different from someone else that makes you separate from the other, a crazy sense of separation between us as my ego and actually, you cannot get rid of the ego because while you are hearing this reality you need it to function, you’re abiding in this body, you need it to function. So, you can wear your ego, like a light ego, not putting too much attention to it, understanding that it’s just a fictional character because it’s actually a fictional self so if you go deep inside there is no self to discover, nothing there, no self, there’s no true self. It’s just a foul self that we are creating that you need to function and no self.

Reality, there’s nothing there. You go deep to try to find yourself and you come out with anything in your hands empty-handed. In my perception the only truth that you can grasp and put into words for a kind of interview like this. This is I am, I am presence, you cannot go further than that anything you add on top of that, is part of your dream state, part of your creation, unique creation but it’s actually false in a way, it’s like a thoughts. One day you think, I am this, and tomorrow you feel really in an authentic about it. In other words and this is like a very strong thing you know, you don’t have a clue about who you are. You can’t know who you are, you can pretend that you know, you can try to know, you can suffer about it but you can’t find yourself, you can’t know who you are that’s true. The difference is that you can abide in peace with that or you can suffer and be fear about that. 

Yeah, we’re talking about the that we’re raised in a society that umm, force us in a way to try to, to become something, you see everybody, everyone is doing it around you and you see this self and this fictional persona that are look so authentic in a way, you know and you want to be required to that so if you try to force, even you don’t, you do not know who you are, you try, we try to pretend to know and to become someone so we force ourselves into competition and to become study something and becoming someone it’s important you know, the guy in the cart you present but at the same time inside you know there is a lot of suffering because if you are honest enough you know that all these things are passing by and you do not, you cannot grasp anything, you don’t have a key. Today you feel this way, tomorrow you feel the other way. Today you feel you are this and then you feel completely inadequate about it like false but we keep going, creating dramas and stories, rightness and wrongness, I heard someone saying, it’s about what we call human drama, we need that, we need to create problems and solutions as well. In order to keep going, it’s like a decoration of problems and solutions, rightness and wrongness, is like that. Fire and dirty ash of humanity, perpetrating the human drama,

Spirituality in our world in our reality is based on trying to achieve something, people become or think that they become more spiritual, following different practices and they feel like an enhancement of their Persona, of their fictional self and the whole thing about the spirituality for me is like a enhance in the self-finding your best potential for some of them is like achieving enlightenment with something to be achieved their own concept about what that is you know and these are the whole thing of constructing yourself in a way becoming a better person but it is not wrong actually, but one thing that is important to see, is that self cannot achieve no self, enlightenment is unachievable by the self, is unreachable because the main thing that you want to really chop down is what is in front the self, so they make like a cheating, we’re cheating and we make spirituality spiritually to be something achievable by self, by the self. But it’s a whole enterprise about that, self can be, enlightenment can be achieved, awareness, awakening can be achieved by the self, you know what I discover is that is completely the other way, the work and the medicine plans helps this work is completely the opposite direction. It’s not about becoming, is not about achieving, It’s unbecoming, it’s deprogramming, deconstructing what you call your fictional persona that is based on a bunch of different beliefs that we accumulate since we were … Childs… And before that. It was already there. Society. All the sets of beliefs about how to live, competition, marriage, in all aspects Is that thing of starting to peel out. In my way of seeing, we are like a…  A collection of onions [SIC]… Sorry, we are an onion, a collection of layers. These layers are basing what you’re holding to be true. Directly. What you hold to be true. Your reality is based on what you hold to be true. If you feel that you are unworthy in happiness, you feel whatever you feel is your unique print. And what Ayahuasca and San Pedro, and different modalities of medicine is doing,  helping us to do, it’s like a tool. It’s to start like a peeling out everything that is not…  When you start like a peeling out, you’re getting like… Lighter, and more lighter. What remains at the end, your essence, who you are, it just “I am”. And you peel everything that is not.

Oh… It is. Do you think enlightenment or awareness is going to be the… A state of perpetual bliss? No… Then you are already holding that belief that is not real. Not true.And the… Many, the majority think about that as like, “Oh, I’m going to be happy forever, there’s not going to be suffering in my life at all. I’m going to overcome suffering.”  And, actually, that’s completely another thing. That’s just a fairy dream. Awareness has nothing to do with happiness and suffering. It has to do with what is true and what is not. It’s honesty.  Honesty. Truth is… You cannot put it into words like the truth is going to God, about God. Truth is God. What is God? It’s true. What is? And… One thing that, in my own way of percep [SIC]… Perceiving reality is, you are on your own, really, Nobody’s going to tell you. It’s very unique, Nobody is going to be able to tell you the truth, because you cannot put it into words,  you cannot grasp it. It’s not when you grasp the truth, then, If someone grasps the truth, “This is the truth, I hold it”. It’s really… Back to the lying..

It’s dramatically different. It’s like… Probably what you call boring. Yeah…  Boring directly… But it’s not boring… It’s a…I don’t feel I have something to really achieve, or become… Or I need to self-define myself in one way or the other.  I’m more present, with everything happening around me. I have a family, I am abiding in a kind of role, parenting role, that is available for everyone. But I’m present with it. And I’m enjoying it. Moment to moment,  things unfolding in a magical unpredictable way, you know, I’m here with you, and… I do not try to push myself into this rush of finding a purpose, for some things I can live purposelessly. And that, many people fear that. That you need to find a purpose in life, to become. That’s the that’s thriving, that wish to… To become, when you used to like, abandon that. You can really be happy just by being. It doesn’t mean that you’re in a perpetual state of happiness. Shit happens, for everyone. Suffering happens for everyone. Even if you’re… It doesn’t matter what you are. While you are in this physical reality, suffering is going to happen to you. But there is like a kind of acceptance of that. And there’s beauty in the acceptance of that. Maybe you’re thinking that, by does… Do not having a purpose, you’re going to be like abiding like in a catatonic state, and actually, It’s really not true. Because our life’s pushing from the back all the time, moving forward, naturally. Some falling all the time, things are happening, synchronistic events are happening, a mountain is happening, when you let it happen. Magic will happen if you let it happen as well. And… People in the outside, from the outside, can tell me,“Hey Diego, you’re doing a lot of things, look around all these community growing up, and the temple, and the ceremonies, you must be a busy guy!”. Do you think so? Do you see I’m a busy guy? Maybe not. This guy is hanging around all day here, ahm… Life is pushing from the back, and if you are following your bliss at every moment, enjoying every moment, life could be really beautiful in a way. Suffering happens, things happen, and it’s not a problem it’s a beautiful challenge to overcome… To see how to find ways, solutions.. We’re Thinking about people having mortgages and things, people are choosing their lives as well. People are choosing where you’re living, what you’re holding within, how is. People are responsible of their vibration, everyone. Unique vibration, you are creating your reality. If you are really vibrating… No, don’t blame anyone. It’s completely your choice. Completely. I see people living in really strong conditions and… With a huge smile in their faces, and finding happiness in a piece of bread. So it’s up to you. Nobody is responsible of your happiness other than yourself.

To die. We are already dying. The body is dying from the very first moment. And the acknowledgment of that it will give us the appreciation and the opportunity to abide this incarnation. All the drama and stories are because you’re not even aware what is going on within you. You are already dying.

What about if I told you that there is not? That life is unfolding without a purpose?  Could be scary. But, brings that whole responsibility up to you. So you are the one determining what is the purpose of this incarnation for you. Put that whole responsibility to you. There is not a purpose, “the purpose of life”, at all. Life is meaningless, in a way. Empty of built-in meaning. Empty props. Completely. Scary for many people, to think about it. Because, if it is purposeless, where you’re putting right and wrong? Only a reality without purpose could be indifferent or with right and wrong on the same page.

What I think, makes people feel separate, from everything? The sense of separation… In their core… In the core is the belief that they are separated. So people think that we are separated. And… It’s normal to think that way. You have been all your life, thinking this way, you have been submerged in a society that thinks that way. How could you feel different of something that you don’t even know? But, more and more, people are having what we can call a direct experience of it, in many ways. In many disciplines, that you can practice. Spontaneous things that sometimes happen to people. In Ayahuasca, it happens very often. There are many techniques that drive you into that way to suddenly have the experience, maybe for the first time, the experience of oneness with all there is, like it’s just a second, just a moment of that experience. And that will make a whole shift in your life, open a whole window in your life. Death, near-death experiences, things like that, you know? Are the same thing that I’m talking about. We call… Can call it peak experience, it’s not enlightenment. Just peak experiences of consciousness, of awareness.

This is very unique in a way, my own perception of depression. But is… Many people feel that the lack of purpose for living is something that is wrong. That is bad. Depression is very close to what I’m saying, you know? It’s like, you’re not feeling any purpose for living. And, in our own understanding, that is… That is something that is bad or is wrong, and you must find a purpose to be, to bind in this reality. And… I don’t think that way. I think that you can live purposelessly you can find yourself in a purposeless state, many times, and it could be really beautiful and amazing life is a falling all the time, nothing remains in the same way. Everything is changing, in me, everything is changing from moment to moment. So, you can really abide there until something happens, something different happens, And if it doesn’t, just stay there, there is what is. Our… Our resistance of accepting things as they are creates a lot of suffering. Like in the present moment, we… We can really embrace it fully, fully as it is or, instead of that, we can start creating resistance and these depressing moments will become only something to be overcome. You know? To be resisted. We need it to change, in order to be happy, then happiness will elude us in the present moment. I’ve been thinking that addictions are like a genetic disease at all like putting makeup on top of things and try to really go into the core thing you know, they going to something I will make you busy in a way distracted, you do this then you don’t need to think about what is there, that is drowning you inside so we choose something easy an addiction like an escape thing instead of going to the core we treat a lot of people with addictions but it’s the same thing for everyone it’s like a, if you drink the medicine and you go deep and face what you are what, what is coming to the surface and many times there are just traumas and, and resolve things and integrated events, childhood things, problem with the parent, problem with the way they were um programmed you know, like leaving from the script if you take a child less than six years old and you tell them you aren’t worthy you do not deserve to be happy, you’re a bad kid they take it literally and put it in the system they download that information they come from your parents the most important person in your lifes and you put it like a fact and then you forget to look there anymore, you don’t like it, don’t look there anymore, you don’t want to visit that event anymore in your life you will avoid it for the rest of your life but it doesn’t mean that it’s not present there, it doesn’t mean that they do not make a really strong imprint in your personality in your subconscious mind. So you can live your life and every time this is coming to the surface you need to find something to put on top because you don’t like it. So you eat, get fat, get addicted to food to substances, to alcohol, to going out and partying and doing things so that you don’t need to go inside again and think about it and then you get used to it, to that way and then you’d even forget that there is something there you go just in your life so when you drink a kind of medicine like Ayahuasca with a responsible approach with a honest approach of all I want to to clean up that my whole castle of you know closed doors and I want to open all the doors I want to clean everything out honestly, humbly you go and you will make your work and you will throw up all these things that will come to the surface and you will clear see what, what’s going on there and all these beliefs that you hold that you are not true. You used to like peeling out all this programming, all this stuff, deconstructing yourself you know, just like that you feeling lighter and lighter, the more you peel the lighter you feel and the light that you feel you know what you put out is what you’re getting back all the time like this reality, this reality is just a reflection of your state of being so if you start like clearing up your state of being making it lighter that reflection is going to start to become lighter just like a reflection so that job is the same for everyone, Its peel out because our society is a little, little screw up about belief systems and in our, in our school system and ourselves that we do not develop different ways of just peeling out it’s not becoming you know, it’s not achieving, it’s unbecoming what remains is your essence and your essence and you.

I think it’s a state of confusion and suffering, People you say, he is living in hell, in a hale realm you know, if you just can witness someone he’s living in the hell realm and sleeping just in pain and confusion.