Bernie Siegel

So yes, I think spirituality was all in me but when you go to medical school it’s not an issue. I mean a sentence that says it well is “Doctors are trained to treat the result not the cause” so we’re prescribing for illnesses.

I mean literally an ad about a depressed woman says “I went to my doctor I said I’m able to prescribe an antidepressant” I feel better now it doesn’t say “What’s going on in your life ma’am why are you depressed? What’s happening? See here’s a pill” and I couldn’t deal with that.

What changed me was going to a workshop I thought was for doctors run by another doctor to help cancer patients and there wasn’t a single doctor  there except me. But my patients were now sitting with me and the sentence that changed my life was you’re a nice guy I feel better when I’m in the office with you but I can’t take you home with me so I need to know how to live between office visits and that’s when I started support groups and teaching people how to live. So I didn’t have to feel like a failure if I didn’t cure the disease how to live and how to die but those are things again that are not taught in medical school. Well, it’s a combination I mean obviously I can expose you to things and get you sick but what I began to learn was what is Survivor Behavior say what about

the people who don’t die when they’re supposed to what do they have to teach us so emotions play an enormous part Bruce Lipton epide geneticist wrote a book called “The Biology of Belief’”, say now here’s a scientist saying what you believe has to do with your biology so and more and more than even in the newspaper today about genes for breast cancer that not everybody you know who has a Gene gets it . Some of it is the gene but also what turns a gene on if you want into a dark room , what do you have to do to make the light come on turn the switch say and so again what turns the genes on,  why don’t identical twins get the same thing the same month of the year say so. One sister can get breast cancer one may never get it and when you study them you find there’s a personality to those who are more likely to get sick and the personality of those who are less likely or who will be long-term survivors so the mind is an incredibly powerful thing and again it’s not a part of medical education.

One, well let me tell you the other side one psychiatrist came up with a list quite a few years ago.  When he was taking care of AIDS patients he called it immune competent personality working with AIDS patients and he came up with a list and basically they’re simple things: are you able to express anger appropriately and defense  of yourself. See,  being a good patient is not survival behavior the word ‘patient’ is derived from submissive sufferer. So, if you don’t speak up for yourself, yes you’re more likely to die of a medical error in the hospital because they know you as a room number  not as a person. Asking friends and family for help for assistance when you need it . Using your feelings to make decisions the way I put it is that if you know it’s not good for you to be depressed see and you get depressed you know it’s not good for your immune function you could say well now I’m more depressed but what if you said what needs to change in my life if I’m feeling this way. So, if you use your feelings in a positive way versus feeling worse about them. Saying no to things you do not want to do and that’s really very important and something I may add that nurses have a lot of trouble with. So a friend or family member asks you to do something you don’t want to do you say no and you don’t have trouble with that. You have play  in your life you don’t live a role you have an authentic life meaning as one man. Well,  the wife called me my husband committed suicide the doctor said you can’t work any more sail your boat or play tennis so he came home put a gun to his head . Now women will say and these are quotes. I don’t make up all these stories. I can’t talk to the all married and out of the house when did she die when her last kid left home . So you live an authentic life not a role you find things that bring you Joy because we also in one study found cancer patients who laugh for no reason every few hours live longer than the control group that only laughed if something funny happened in their life. So, again you can’t separate the physical from the emotional and just one more little item. A student down at University of South Florida many years ago had two actors come in a male and a female. He gave them scripts to read. One was a tragedy in which the man had murdered her husband and they met and the other was a comedy . He drew their blood while they were acting and while they’re in the comedy immune function goes up stress hormone levels go down. While they’re in the tragedy the opposite happens. The immune function goes down and stress hormone levels go up so well I laughed to myself because I used to ask patients what’s happened in your life recently? And doctors would say to me why are you blaming your patients for getting sick. I’m not blaming them but I’m asking them to look at why they might be sick today. And a poem called Miss G by WH Worton see this is what speaks to me of the truth if a poet writes it if it’s in a song, a novel they’re observing the world and writing about it.  And the poem said about cancer, childless women get it and men when they retire it’s as if there had to be an outlet for their foiled creative fire. Now you could find Union therapists saying the same thing decades ago and I’ve had Dr jail at me because it rhymes doesn’t make it true but it does make it true. We know that statistically this is true so you have to look at your life and it’s not about blame and  quote I read the other day from Jesus that as you believe is what happens unto you .You know or in your life it happens unto you as you believe.  So I’ve never heard anybody say to Jesus why are you blaming people you see just because they believe something. No, it’s what it does to your chemistry.  So, on the positive side yes having faith I’ve had people  whose cancers disappeared what did you do? I went home and I left my troubles to God. I’ve had people go to places where they wanted to be when they died. Buying a house on the shore in Florida, going to the mountains of Colorado, buying a dog ,putting in a backyard wildlife habitat all kinds of things to enjoy the last few months of their life. The man in Colorado answered the phone when I called the year later to ask why I hadn’t been notified about the funeral. He said it’s so beautiful here I forgot to die. The guy in Florida instead of dying in two months lived five and a half years and the lady who bought a dog and put in a backyard wildlife habitat and a bunch of other things wrote me a letter saying I’m so busy now I’m killing myself to help  where do I go from here? Now that’s not an accident, see it’s because their body got the message and they always say. If I had to summarize it is love your life and love your body let it know.  Again  what is more proof Monday morning more heart attack, stroke, suicides and Illnesses. Why Monday? How do you feel on Monday? I have to go to work, the traffic sucks . But if you loved what you’re doing with your life you’d get up on Monday and say  here’s my chance to contribute something to the world and  so yes it made a difference.  And as I say it’s not me blaming people but helping them to find their authentic Life.

I’d say a very big one. When you’re trying to forget you don’t get a damn thing out of it but when you forgive you give yourself a gift because you’re not carrying the burden . You’re not needing to get even there’s a line from East of Eden by John Steinbeck “we all suffer  rejection in our lives with rejection comes a desire for Revenge with Revenge guilt and there’s the story of mankind”, see and I think when you read all the headlines of what’s going on in the world today.  These are people who can’t forgive, they want revenge. But when you forgive and this again another true story your parents and their friends sexually abuse you. Literally this boy if he wanted to have a TV in his bedroom he had to do them a sexual favor they he developed AIDS.  That’s when I got to know him trying to help him survive and one day he called me he said, ‘I’m committing suicide’, I said why don’t we kill your parents? I know people in New York get your gun we’ll kill your parents.  That’s what everybody else is doing.  And I talked to people that way believe me and he said no I never want to be like them.  He’s free, he’s not because most people who seek revenge then feel guilty and end up killing themselves or being killed.  And the nice part is I always believe in angels.  He went to the subway which is what he said he was going to do and jump in front of a train.  And an hour or two late I got a phone call he said the train didn’t show up. So I called the 800 hotline for suicide  prevention and they came and rescued him . But I don’t think that’s a coincidence. I mean it the train didn’t show up for a kid like that and so again when you can forgive you free yourself of a burden . Our hotel room was robbed by somebody who obviously had a key to the room. There was a weird guy standing in the hallway. I knew he was waiting.  I mean I had a funny feeling about him when we came back to our room after dinner. It had been robbed and I knew this guy did it because why would he be standing in a hallway waiting for us to get on the elevator? You know he wasn’t knocking on doors doing anything. And I got up every day mad as hell of him wishing I was back in the hallway you know I’d beat the crap out of him I’d get and I realized he’s still robbing you.  And it happened to be Christmas time and I thought you know if I ran into them I give him another 100 bucks and say go buy something wonderful for your kids. And then I felt free ended up laughing about it and I was free of him. He wasn’t robbing me anymore and I think that’s what people have to realize.  What’s going on in your head is your decision.  Somebody else doesn’t decide and our pets and animals are wonderful examples to me. If I may cite one little example we had a house rabbit who was grabbed by our dog before they they had lived together a while. But didn’t really know each other and she was badly injured by him. A couple of weeks later I went out to bring her in the house and I couldn’t find her.  And I saw the dog lying there so I went over to pet him. She was under the dog hiding. So I wouldn’t find her to bring her in the house and I thought wow you know look at them they’re buddies now.  He threatened her life and yet she said hey you know you’re my friend yeah and I think when we do that we also can have that kind of feeling and change our lives.

The part of consciousness, and I can only show you my story. I was doing meditation years ago which I thought was crazy. And I didn’t believe in it but I closed my eyes and I am an artist so I’m a visual person because the man running it was looking at me knowing I’m sitting there staring at him and not doing it. So I closed my eyes to fool him and then the images became incredible.  And I met a man walking on a path because this was what he said. You’ll meet an inner guide and you can ask him a question and the man’s name was George and he had a beard with funny, garments on that I didn’t understand. A year or two later I was speaking  one evening and I realized I wasn’t giving the talk but I wasn’t saying what I had planned to say.  I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like if I was a television set the program is put into me. So I’m just talking for two hours and I thought this is better than you planned so just go ahead. When I was done a woman came up and said I heard you before that was better than usual. I said, “I agree with you”. The next person came up and said there was a man standing in front of you so I drew his picture for you. And it’s in my house and it was George big beard and garments. A few years after that I’m speaking at a Christian funeral of a friend of mine who died.  And another person who knew him who was a mystic came up to me after the funeral and said Bernie are you Jewish? I said why are you asking because I spoke at a Christian funeral?  No, there’s a rabbi standing next to you and it was George. And then I understood his clothing. You know that it was his prayer cap and all his garments and the third thing .So people don’t think I’m neurotic but these things happen you know and make me a believer.  I’m in a Stop and Shop and a woman mentioned my name.  I said when I’m acting silly because I always call shop Stop and Shop my therapy session. I mean I know everybody that has got troubles I just share with people. A lot of people who know me  said don’t say my name out loud.  I said give me another name she said all right George now where does that come from? They and so yeah I rely on him .  I don’t have to plan for a lot of things because I know George will be there and tell me what to say and do. And whether you call him an angel or anything else I also have heard voices speak to me and no different than you’re talking to me.  When my father was dying I was asked how did your parents meet? I said I don’t know then ask your mother when you get to the hospital I did and my father died laughing because a wonderful story .She was telling I wrote a book called Buddy’s candle, I heard a voice say when I came out to walk the other dog, ” Go to the animal shelter”. So I got in the car and went to the shelter. I walked in there’s a dog sitting by the door. What’s his name? His name is Buddy he’s been here less than 15 minutes .I said I’m here to take him home and that’s how I adopt pets. I wait for the voice to tell me okay and then I go down there. And it’s wonderful experiences because it’s always unique. They a family named a child after me because I helped the mother not have a miscarriage . I mean I calmed her down, got all these frantic people out of a room we communicated with her uterus and it stopped . So when the baby was born they named him Brady, say the Irish Bernie and I also got a message to go the animal shelter . I walked in who was there that morning with a dog named,  Brady see and those are not coincidences to me. So I always say okay I’ll take him home.

See, the hero’s journey is doing something real. And what I mean by that is that you’re making a difference in somebody else’s life okay because I know the feeling that comes with that. I mean I felt that more than once you write a book. My first book Love Medicine Miracles I never expected to write a book again. See no coincidence somebody said to me why don’t you write a book instead of talking and lecturing all the time? I said because I’m not a writer. I got to see in college and writing you only see in four years. So I never you know I’m a visual person as I said a painter I never expected to write. Well they put a bunch of people together and I talked for hours and then they typed it up and turned it into a book. And then millions of people have read the book and said thank you you’ve helped me. And I can remember when it was number one on New York Times bestselling list walking out of the house and looking up and saying I’ve done something real look how many people I’ve helped .I mean it was such a wonderful feeling and it’s not ego if you know what I mean .It’s just you’ve helped .You resuscitate a baby that everybody thinks even the mother said stop it’s dead. I can accept it I said I can’t stop and the baby starts breathing again. Okay and you could say I’ve done something real at last and I think when people can say that in their lives that’s then they’re Heroes. They have helped someone else to survive and the wonderful feeling that comes with that. Another comment that Campbell made that I felt was important was when you’re going through hell ask yourself what have I learned from this ?So again that’s what the hero is doing. Life is a school so you take your tests and you keep working forward and trying what I call. I try to live the sermon so every morning yeah I’m walking a dog but I’m meditating, communicating with God i’m trying to become an instrument of Gods. You all like the title of my second book Peace Love and Healing.  If I could bring that to people then I’ve done something not about self-interest.

It’s your attitude.I studied a lot when I was trying to help cancer patients, concentration camp survivors. See  what’s his name Victor Frankel to live is to suffer to survive is to find meaning in the suffering or um oh Nelson Mandela if I don’t forgive those who put me in prison I’m still in prison. But when you can forgive you walk away ,you’re free and so the peace comes when you can let go.

The biggest issue and I mean this literally in survival and health is how you were treated by your parents. The first few years of life you’re under hypnosis. This relates to brain waves so you’re a mess ,you’re a failure you’re never going to amount to anything. This is a quote from a woman my mother’s words were eating away at me and maybe gave me cancer. She told me I was a failure, I embarrassed her and only dressed me in dark clothes so nobody would notice me. Now when she developed cancer and started reading my books and got in touch with me. The sad part is one sentence was you gave me permission to be the authentic person I was meant to be. I said to her you didn’t need my permission, that’s the sad part but what I learned is I can re-parent people. When I have kept loving my patients who were self-destructive, see what are they used to. The opposite of Love is rejection indifference abuse so you go to the doctor. You don’t do what the doctor tells you the doctor says I’m not giving you a return appointment there’s no point in it. I would always say I’ll see you in two weeks okay .And after a while they’d realize he cares about me and they began to care about themselves. And one teenager said to me one day you’re my CD. I said , “What are you talking about MCD” ?You’re my chosen dad, that’s how I learned you can save lives. They I’ll be your CD it doesn’t matter how old somebody is .You know what I mean it’s the relationship you establish and so there were suicidal people who I’ve said to I’ll be your CD. And suddenly it’s okay you know, they know I love them even if I don’t like how they’re behaving. Those are two very separate issues but they were loved by me. I’m not judging them and then they began to realize they were worth something. And I tell people to become love warriors. You want to drive those who abuse you .Crazy say I love you and I’m not kidding, they’re people in concentration camps who survived because they looked up at a German Garden. That is libidic and what does a god do all right you go on that line they but you come up and say I hate you yeah you go to the gas chamber.

Well, one of the things I like to tell people to do is create shrines. Get your baby pictures out, put them up around your home around where you work and love that kid every time you pass that picture.  Love him and if there are people who loved you, put their pictures up and feel their love. When you walk by see I have my parents in the front hall of our house every time. I go by they’re loving me and you talk about mystics and angels. When I’m worn out and not taking care of myself, the phone rings. One of my patients is Mystic Bernie. Your parents want you to take care of yourself .She gets messages from those who have died and I refer people to her too. Meaning you know if somebody’s loved one dies .I say you want to get a message from them call up Monica she’ll talk to them because when she learned I wasn’t a normal doctor. Years ago she brought me messages from patients who had died with their names. And told me what they were saying and there was no and when I would call some of the families. And say are you willing to have a message .One wife yelled, oh my God ! that’s what he used to say every time he left the meeting. So I know we can communicate. I may add what proved it.  To me more than a Mystic is an animal intuitive friend.  I met her in an elevator in California,

Amelia Kincaid and she said I’m an animal intuitive. We were speaking at an ASPCA none kill conference and I I thought to myself oh wait that’s nuts you talk to animals but what happens a few months later one of our cats disappeared. I call Amelia I said, is a cat alive ? Somebody left the house open,  it was an indoor cat. She sent me an email a day later saying the cat’s fine. I could see the moon through its eyes. She described the whole house.  And what was weird was it ended with the cats. Under the house that made no sense to me until I went out the next morning and started screaming the cat’s name. And where was she under a stairway off the house hiding from everyone all the other creatures. And she’s done this once while she was in Africa. And another cat disappeared and she described my basement and said that’s where the cat is.  And it was but it didn’t want me to find it. So when I left the house my wife let it.  You know it made a noise and my wife let it out of the basement.  But I mean how can somebody in Africa tell me what’s going on in Connecticut? It’s the consciousness see and a couple of quotes and things from young again .He said, “the future is unconsciously prepared long in advance and therefore can be guessed by clairvoyance”. So we’re reading the consciousness they and in drawings and dreams too past, present and future. A present and that’s something that isn’t taught the doctors. Jung  diagnosed with a brain tumor from a dream. I have done the same things from drawings and dreams because I know anatomy. And when people symbolize these things I know. whereas an art therapist wouldn’t know because if they don’t know you know what lungs or your brain or something else looks like they’re not going to say oh this is you know physical but it’s amazing and uh I use this all the time with people.

What is consciousness? It’s the part of us that never dies, it’s the awareness in a sense of everything to be blind.  I mean if you read some of the books in your death experience. Blind people see when they leave their body and you say how does that happen? But the body is what’s having the problem, not the consciousness. I had a near-death experience as a Four-year-old choking on a toy. And as most children feel I was upset when I didn’t die because it’s a hell of a lot more interesting out of your body especially when you’re choking to death. Then it is in it  but I know it’s true I always say I don’t live by beliefs if I have an experience. I know it’s true .Somebody asked me over the telephone if these things interest you.  I was very busy and she said, “Bernie why are you living this life”? And I went into a trance and saw myself in a past life killing with the sword. I won’t go into the emotional details but I really felt that explained my life. Today a surgeon trying to help with a knife  rescuing all kinds of creatures. This used to be more like a farm when all the kids were here. I mean we had fences with you name it they were living here with us. And I was always rescuing everything and I really felt that had a lot to do with my past. And that’s why you see that I’m not saying that it was me in a past life. Please understand that but I think each of us is born with consciousness in us. Of those who have preceded us so it brings forth certain things in me. See when I saw a five-year-old playing a violin for a concert orchestra. I mean come on  it’s five years old, you’re going to train a five-year-old to play a violin? I think that that kid has the consciousness of a violinist from another life. And it’s in them and so they have that talent coming forth very quickly. And again it’s the Consciousness that gets in here and I really feel that’s a big part. I always say why do we sleep?  It’s dangerous  people break into your house, if you were sleeping in a cave a tiger could come in and kill you but you see when you turn your brain off then the consciousness can speak to you. You’re not thinking and let me because you bring up Joseph Campbell his story .And something I had come across we agreed very much because I often say to people how did the ugly duckling figure out he’s a swan ? Not because he walks away from home saying my mother’s this son of a and oh look what she said to me and how she treated me. Nnd now that no he leaves home finds his way. One day he’s sitting on a still pond, looks down and realizes I look like the swans. I’m a swan out if he hated and resented his mother it would never happen.

Joseph Campbell said it in another way: a tiger is chasing some goats, goes into labor and delivers a little baby. And dies due to a hemorrhage What did the goats do ? Let’s raise the kid you know don’t let him die and they do. And that’s why animals are wonderful teachers see they’re complete, man is not.  That’s why we have so much work to do. See for us it’s a hero’s journey for those goats it’s not a journey. They were a hero; they saved the baby’s life. But a few months later another tiger comes along and sees this tiger with the girl.And, “say hey stupid what are you doing here come with me you’re not a tiger”? I mean you’re not a goat you’re a tiger.  It offers him a piece of meat and Joseph Campbell has a sense of humor. And the little tiger says, “oh I’m a vegetarian I don’t eat meat come with me dumbbell”. He takes him to a still pond and says, “look you’re a tiger you look like me, you’re not a goat”. And Campbell makes the point see it’s not to imitate the other tiger, it’s not some Guru. But it’s for you to identify yourself like the ugly duckling does. But how do you do that? If you don’t quiet this it never happens. So when you go home look in the mirror what do you see ?Everything ‘s wrong but when you can have that self-love ,Self-forgiveness, 

realize you are a hero, you are a child of God whatever word you want to use then you look in the mirror. And you can be pleased with what you see.  I often say to people if you had to introduce yourself to God how would you introduce yourself? You get to the head of the emission line they say you’re next how do you want to be introduced to God, what would you say ?See if it’s a Oneness then you are God . You’re God’s child yeah so when people show up and say I’m a doctor come back when you know who you are.  But when you say your kid is here or it’s you God says, “come on in”. And the best answer I heard was from a teenager who I knew had to be loved if he came up with this he said, “tell God his replacement is here”.  You see when you grow up with those kinds of feelings I call them ‘mottos’ to live by. See that’s the hero’s journey.I grew up with these models which I didn’t appreciate as a kid .You say I’d have a terrible day and I’d come home to get help from my mother I had a horrible day God is redirecting you something good will come of this. That’s all you have to tell me? No help. Norman Vincent peel was a friend of mine and he said his mother used to say Norman God slams one door further down the corridor another will be open.See when you grow up with that attitude you can survive. I don’t know what to do? I have a problem. Do what makes you happy. Again I say  I’m asking you to help me. Make a decision ,do what makes you happy. See I tell people now let your heart make up your mind. I’m sure that broke his heart to learn that but still you see he’s trying to do the right thing from the standpoint of helping others. And look what it does for him. And I found one of my books is called The Book of Miracles that Elizabeth Kubler-Ross used to put it.There are no coincidences and the same thing with the Miracles when did they happen? A place before you life and death good and evil choose life. You choose what’s life enhancing for you and everyone else say how can I love the world as well as love myself by my activity? That’s when all these remarkable things happened from saving lives, to getting your car fixed in the middle of the night . It’s just amazing stories. I mean it’s hard for me not to tell you some of them .But  your daughter is murdered. You go down to the breeder because you figure you want to get a dog. She wanted the father to have a dog because it was a house full of daughters. He was the only male .She was going to buy him a male dog. She’s murdered. A couple of years later they go down to the breeder in her honor to get a dog. They walk in and sit down, a room full of poodles all barking and yelping in the breeder quiets them down, except one won’t get quiet he runs over jumps in the father’s lap. And the breeder said that’s the dog your daughter picked out for you several years ago. But somebody else had already asked for it but they couldn’t keep it and they just brought it back now. How does that dog jump into the father’s lap? And  the father just burst out crying as if I mean he just felt something from that law .And as I say it’s story if the story that goes on like that and again it’s that consciousness. So it can speak to you ,you can feel it and I’m not saying I hear the voice every day. But I know it when it talks I mean one day it was humorous. I was walking down the street singing “I am strong but thou art weak” and I heard a voice say, “you have the words wrong it’s I am strong and thou art weak”. See I’m acting as if I’m God singing I am strong thou Art weak. And it was like God said to me, “Bernie you got it wrong I’m the strong one” now but then I heard the voice say but you know I’ve done a good job with you. So maybe you’re right to go ahead and. And you know where did that come from I don’t know but I always say as my wife came up with that expression it came from God knows where. And so again all the physicists, astronomers, they’re more mystical because they can’t explain everything. We’ve been around here for billions of years and it’s a process. I mean I’ll tell you, my definition of God is loving, conscious, intelligent, energy. So you want to be a hero, put those things together and use them.You see when you are worried about yourself then again you’re not going to benefit yourself or the world. When you want to impress people with what you wear , how much money you have, how big your car is, well let me I mean all these things have happened to me. We have five children, one of them he’s in the FBI now but he went to Automotive in diesel school because he  loved fixing things. And so we used to have a whole bunch of old wrecks here that he was restoring. And one day I came out of the house to go to give a lecture and everybody had taken all the cars. The only thing left was this Camaro that was a rusty old wreck but at least it you know it ran .So I jumped in it and I drove to my lecture. Everybody was sitting there in silence, you know listening to every word I had to say .And at the end of my lecture somebody came up and said, “we’re so impressed with your humility”. I said what are you talking about? They said the car we expected you to drive up in a Mercedes or a Cadillac and look what you drove up in. I burst out laughing. I said, “that was the only choice I had”. But look how it affected them, say I didn’t have an ego, look what I drove up in and they  listened to me. If I driven up with my ego. see my Mercedes oh there’s another doctor yeah he’s showing off how much money he has. And that’s  why I know I live that way. A man I knew who was a multi-millionaire when he was told he had a few months to live said I canceled the dress code at work. Who the hell cares if you are a suit and tie? if you have two months to live? So I can’t wear a tie anymore because of him. I mean he became a friend and he lived for many years. Because again he lived like a survivor if you know what I mean. But I also know people you see why words are so powerful If it’s all ego. One insurance company said, “man we’re not paying for cataract surgery because you’re only going to live a few months and we don’t want to pay”. But it ruined his life he couldn’t see anymore. He went home and died in a week. 

Okay so what I’ve realized is because one of our children did it if you want to take a picture of it in the house you write the word -words words, words, words, words, words with no space between each word and they become sword, sword, sword, swords. And I realized as a physician I could kill or cure people with my words. I mean that literally takes hope away. They can curl up and die. Give them hope, I use the word ‘potential’ because you’re not a statistic. You know it’s one lawyer and I always say being a lawyer is a serious illness. He was told he had a five percent chance of living two years while his car was being fixed and he found my book in a used bookstore. Changed his whole life ,cancer disappeared Okay. And I always say he’s not a normal lawyer, see if he were a good lawyer he would have died based on statistics. And all that stuff but when you realize there’s potential there’s hope. It’s not about failing the guilt ,shame and blame, see and let me know what can make the hero’s journey difficult. 1820s Pope Leo the 12th, think of what you would do if you were the Pope. The  vaccine, smallpox I think it was a vaccine that  came out .And if you were the Pope what would you tell Catholics to do? Go get vaccinated, it’s good for you or God decides who gets smallpox, you get vaccinated you don’t go to heaven. I couldn’t believe it when I read that. Pope Leo the 12th said do not vaccinate yourself God decides to get smallpox. Billy Graham recently in his newspaper column does God want me to have cancer? He said, “not necessarily but maybe God does want you to have cancer so now you’ll show up in church again”. See because your life is threatened and you’ll become spiritual again. And it’s absurd because if God wants you to have a disease then don’t treat it. We should all be gone home and die if we get sick. What I liked was maimonides years ago said two things-  and one refers to ego again. If people took as good care of themselves as they do their animals they’d suffer fewer illnesses. People love their animals more than themselves. And he said also disease is a loss of health. It’s not punishment or given to you .You’ve lost something so go look for it that’s what the Bible tells us to do. If you find what your friend lost, return it .And more recently in cat fancy magazine and I have all these things in the house so you know I don’t make up stories. All these articles give you a test question. You have nine cats you and your husband smokes, one of your cats develops lung cancer and dies the others are having breathing problems. What would you do? And write it into the magazine.

Wrong answer, okay most people say stop smoking. But that’s not what this woman wrote in her  full page description ends in Doug and I now smoke in the yard. We love our cats more than the convenience of smoking indoors .We’re not killing our cats anymore. We hope you’re not killing yours. Now I wrote to the magazine and they didn’t publish my letter. Because I couldn’t believe that they would publish this full-page letter with that ending. And not make a comment about killing yourself. Why can’t you love yourself? But you see it’s back to the ego. I mean one for a bit of humor say you walk into the bedroom ,a wife’s standing naked in front of a mirror. She said, “you know look what’s happened to me with the years going by look at my appearance can you think of something nice to say to me”? I said, yeah honey you got excellent vision now. You know that’s a joke okay but again if all you see is what’s wrong. You say that’s not the Still Pond. The Still Pond tells us the truth: you’re a child of God. Yes, you may have problems but you’re still beautiful. Look at Helen Keller, she’s one of my teachers too. I’m blind and deaf but look at what she accomplished with her life. And never feeling that God punished her, seeing what she basically said was God. In the sense disciplines us you know but it’s not punishment to have this happen to me and to graduate from college when you’re blind and deaf. And the other thing she taught me is that if you have an ego you have trouble doing. You have to be blind or deaf tomorrow morning. Which would you pick ?

This is from Helen Keller and she taught me a lot. I’ve heard of the stars of the rainbows, of the play of light on the waves, these I would like to see. But far more than sight I wish for my ears to be open. The voice of a friend, the imaginations of Mozart life without these is darker by far than blindness .You wouldn’t be sitting here if you were deaf yeah. And I know you could say I could read lips but if I turn away you know what separates us from people. We don’t listen okay when you have an ego. You know what’s wrong with everybody else? It’s your fault , it’s not me but when you’re willing to listen then you become the hero, The therapist .And I mean this literally you listen because I’ve tested this on people. For 20 minutes complaining about their life and you know what they say at the end of 20 minutes. And all you’ve said is  you’ve been an enormous help thank you. If you tell them what to do immediately you know they need to hear themselves and that’s what the heroes do. They listen to others so the others know who they are and then you become a hero because you’ve helped them.

It’s because they deserve it. See they were abused as kids. I really feel all the addicts are looking for what they never received in a healthy way. So they want a drug you know something to make me feel better. So I don’t have to feel all this pain, I’ll be in a good place. But if you had my mother and grandmother you wouldn’t need all those drugs. They were my drugs. They don’t see it as punishment, they see it as something they’re entitled to. So to speak, you know that if I grew up with all that pain I can use this stuff to make me feel better. What’s an addiction? Something you don’t want to and really can’t give up.  I’m addicted to love, that’s why I use the term Love-Warrior now. I’m not saying I’m perfect at it okay. And you know the meaning that I can express anger if I’m not treated with respect. But I could say to somebody I love you but I don’t like how you’re treating me. So that’s my weapon and then I feel better using it rather than screaming and yelling because what I know is what you see in me. And what I see in you is within us. So if there are things about you I don’t like it’s because you’ll put me in touch with things in myself that I don’t like. So you know if I have some drugs ,some alcohol,  something I can get numb into hell with all this stuff. I don’t have to feel it anymore and I deserve it .Because look how I was treated. Let me add a statistic so you know Harvard students were asked in one study. Did your parents love you? And then they were looked up 35 years after graduation you know middle age. Those who said my parents didn’t love me 98% had suffered a major illness in the intervening years. And 24% of those who said my parents loved me had suffered a major illness. You know that’s how we started this conversation. What contributes to our health so yeah you aren’t loved so okay I can have a cigarette ,I can have drugs, I can be 200 pounds overweight. But when you can look in the mirror and love yourself, that’s what’s good for me.Then not having something is doing the right thing. You can open the fridge and see a big pie and say no. I mean you know I can have a bite of it. But I’m not going to consume the pie and somebody who isn’t in love says oh good I deserve that. And look at what you’re doing to yourself.

That’s why I say be a warrior. Again, a woman with cancer here’s me in a support group that says my parents are alcoholics and abusive. And what’s the point of saying I love you? I said, “just keep it up see what happens three months later”.She came to a meeting smiling. I said Mary, what’s going on with your big smile? I was late for work this morning. I ran out of the house, my parents were in the street screaming you forgot something. I said, “I have all my stuff, what are you talking about?”You didn’t say, I love you today. She said we were all crying and hugging each other in the street. Now three months of saying I love you without ever getting an answer from them until that morning so that’s what I tell people now say I love you for three months then skip a day. And you’ll get an email, you get a phone call. Hey you okay? I didn’t hear from you today. Now I have done this even over parking spaces. You know you pull into a parking space that somebody else wanted outside, you know in the mall and the guy starts cursing and screaming I lower my window. I said I love you. He drove away and then we met in a store and he didn’t know what to do with me. You see he turns into the aisle. And I’m in that aisle oh my God here’s that guy who said I love you. You know if I’d said I hate you, you son of a bitch, he wouldn’t have trouble fighting and screaming back at me. And once I don’t know if it saved my life or not but again I pulled in and parked. And this lady got out of a car and started screaming at me. You know, cursing and screaming and coming towards me. And I said to her  I don’t know what’s going on in your life but I want you to know I love you. She got in the car and drove away. And a couple of people came over to me and said we don’t know what the hell she was going to do to you. I was about to knock her down and they said thank you and I’d say again that’s to me being the hero that you’re willing to say. Those things and the power of that because one doctor again backed the concentration camps. He wrote about his patience when they were put in a concentration camp with no treatment available. But decided that they wanted to live. He said he couldn’t believe the power of their mind that they were capable of functioning. You know doing work whereas if they couldn’t he said they either got a bullet through the head or just weren’t fed and starved to death. And he wrote an article as a physician because he saw the power of the mind to keep them alive and keep them able to function. So those are the things that impress me. And  you know if we could each love one another what a difference. Because one thing I always say is a surgeon we’re all the same color inside. You know we’ve got to stop separating ourselves. See that’s where the ego comes in but if we’re all one family hey you’re not better than me I’m not better than you we’re all family. So treat each other that way.

Well, we’re always in competition then we’re always trying to prove something. They look at my car, look at my house yeah. I remember one family where somebody had cancer but they said our father never helps us. He’s always at the computer, always on the phone and when they went over to him to talk he said well look at the house you got, look at the cars we’re driving really they wanted him to be their father not give them a bigger house you know in a fancier car. But he’s giving them models to die by .So I said my parents gave me bottles to live by. And I may add that people have come up to me and said yeah you didn’t ask us what models were dying by it’s inconceivable to me. Some of the things they told me that their parents would say to them just to fill them with worry and fear and ego versus enjoying life and letting life redirect you.

No, they are supposed to love us all the time. They don’t have to like us all the time. Say let me give you examples from our children dad you don’t love me as much as my brothers. I said we have one girl and four boys. I said what are you talking about? I don’t get 20 percent of your time okay. You have five kids and you should get 20 percent. Also, he’s a sweet kid. So what bedroom do you put him? In the one at the end of the hall .Why because you have to worry when he shuts the door, what the hell he’s doing? The kid who’s driving you nuts has a little bedroom off the kitchen so we always know what’s going on .But I said to him, “what do you mean?” Well, I don’t get 20. I said, you don’t get 20 because your brother’s driving us insane so he gets 40. Now I gave that kid a hell of a lot of credit because he could have spent his life saying they don’t love me, I don’t get as much time and I’m at the end of the hole .But he had the courage to come up and say things to me like that .And I may add he has been a therapist for me. When I operated on him he woke up and said you forgot to tell me it was going to hurt. See I’m living in my head as a surgeon explaining everything about the hospital not what it’s like to be the patient though. And the other was when he had a bone tumor and I thought he was going to lose his leg and be dead in a year. He said, “you’re handling this poorly”. I said what are you talking about? He said we’re trying to have a nice day you want us in our room depressed. Now those are the things you see the children and the animals don’t have an ego problem. Now I shouldn’t say all the kids but when the kids grow up and they’re not getting attention sure be a bully ,be a troublemaker and at school. If we said to all the kids we love you. They don’t have to make trouble to be recognized, to be identified yeah and  let them know as I said we love you but we don’t like your behavior. And I would tell them that I love you but I don’t like how you behave and so there are rules there are regulations uh that they have to follow but it doesn’t mean you’re not loved. Yes, they had Parents and literally when I get lots of emails from people I say it’s obvious your parents didn’t love you. And you were a child and they say yeah I know we had a lot of problems. And if your parents weren’t loved they bring it to you too. Because it’s just not in them. You know to do that I mean I know so many of the people I take care of whose parents committed suicide. They’re alcoholics they told their children to kill themselves. I mean one friend who’s still alive because I’ve worked with her um and what it does to you to have that anger a lot of autoimmune diseases they you’re filled with anger. But when you turn it in you attack yourself. And I said to her bring me a picture of yourself as a baby. She said, “I don’t have any”. My parents are real estate agents. You want to see the house and they told her to commit suicide. She’s the only one alive because she screwed it up. She didn’t do it right, her sister killed herself, her parents killed themselves and I became her father to let her know I love her and to listen to her get the anger out. See that’s the other part she screamed and screamed and screamed. And I just sat there for hours the Helen Keller ,listening they and finally it emptied out. See there were people I saw in my office who I knew needed their illness. Imagine a family coming in where one person looks well and six people look sick. Who do you think has the illness? The person who looked well. Now why did I say that because they’re driving everybody else crazy taking care of them. And there are families where I would tell them she’s using her illness. You know and there are times you have to say no that there’s you know give her attention in a healthy way. Not just because she’s sick because they would hire nurses and she would let the nurse sleep at night and wake up her sister. You know that kind of thing. And I would use this technique. I’d say I have something that will cure you in my office. Next visit I will give it to you. And they’d never come back to the office. They would arrange you know can you stop at my house I’ll see you in the emergency room. But I did that to try to get the family to understand how they were using their Illness. But if they were receiving love they wouldn’t need the sickness to get it but there are lots of people who don’t want to be well because then maybe that nobody will pay attention to me.

I call it labor pain. They say if you see life the pain of Life as a labor pain then you’re giving birth to yourself. And let me give you a poem somebody wrote she was comparing chemotherapy and radiation to the pregnancy of her daughter. Nine months seems like a long time, I watch my body change tired I said you know staring out at life I live within my mind books of Music transport me beyond my body nine months past I give birth to my child all the discomfort and pain is now Justified. 12 months chemotherapy and radiation same poem ends with 12 months past I give birth to myself. All the discomfort and pain is now Justified. See and the hero understands that so the hero’s journey is living through the labor pain and giving birth to yourself your authentic self.

I think if they know you have that insight and care about them they respond. Because you remind me of a lady who was smoking in our waiting room under a non-smoking sign. I mean you know she’s not retarded. So I came out and what is she expecting what the hell’s wrong with you would you get out of here. I came out and said, “it’s obvious you’re looking for attention come on in”. And she gave me a big smile put out the cigarette and came into the office. See that was the beginning of her healing because you know she could look at me and say he knows who I am and what I’m feeling. But um again it’s letting them know you care. That’s why I like the term re-parenting people letting them know you care. and I found self-destructive patience and this included drug addicts. I would say to them I’ll give you a prescription for drugs but if I find you getting more from other people then we’re done. You know and that will gradually taper you and get you off the drugs. So you could say I was doing something illegal but it was for their sake and I saw a three, four, five six months down the road how they suddenly began to take a shower, put on clean clothes you know what I mean. Become a person again because somebody cared and persisted in caring. I’d even hug them you know and I say that because some of them you know you have to change your clothes they have to hug them but  to let them know I really cared. I really cared and then they found. Well I guess I must be worth something. Look at him, he keeps telling me to come back.

I’d say it’s a process. You know it’s a rebirthing I mean sometimes it can happen quickly. I say if somebody tells  you have two months to live. The change could be very rapid. See I often say to people how would you describe your experience? One lady as a matter of fact  with cancer who was screaming at her plastic surgeon for making her ugly. And he asked if I could help.He said, “I can’t figure out what that was wrong with this lady” So she came in .I said how would you describe what you’re going through? Failure. I said see and then I say how does that word fit your life? And she said, “my parents committed suicide when I was a child that must have been a failure as a child that changed her whole life”. I mean that  she just woke up and started changing. And all that is stored in us, Alice Miller said it beautifully she said, “a childhood is stored up in our bodies no we can repress it we can never alter it our feelings can be manipulated a body trick with medication but so but the body is as whole as a child who while still whole in spirit will accept no compromises and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth”. Okay so somebody draws a heart that’s broken with 21 drops of blood. What happened when you were 21? And then you hear the horrible story of a reporter who I knew didn’t believe in all the stuff I was doing so I said to her draw me a picture then we’ll talk. She handed me the picture and behind her in the picture she had a big head which said a lot about her personality. But behind her was a clock with one hand pointed at 12. I said what happened when you’re 12 years old? And she burst into tears she was sexually abused and the whole interview has changed. See so that stuff is stored in us but if we don’t bring it forth. And again psychiatrists have done more of this stuff and written more books about it the will to live you can fight for your life um. Because they’re helping people get their lives in order when they learn they may not live and then they notice they didn’t die when they were supposed to. Because I sent articles to medical journals see about the drawings and all the things I thought look what I’m learning they came back saying it’s interesting but it’s not appropriate. I sent him to Psychiatry journals it came back again it’s appropriate. But it is interesting we know all this see that’s the trouble with medicine people are treated either like homes you know a house or a car. Y,ou have all these different things so you get an electrician you know you fix the brakes. But we are not separate pieces were one unit mind and body can’t be separated. As I said what the mind believes the body experiences. See I know people who were not being treated due to medical errors, no chemotherapy, no radiation even just an incision. And not a complete operation they thought they were treated tumor shrank and they had side effects of treatments. They weren’t getting and in some cases the doctors didn’t know it because the patients all acted as if they were being treated. And it blew the doctor’s minds but that’s how powerful it is. And that’s why I do a lot of work with the drawings in imagery. If you draw the devil giving your poison, think of what you’re going to experience. Whereas here’s a gift from God, as my treatment.

It’s to give yourself the courage and believe in yourself. I was on vacation. Once I went in a cave and I saw this incredible pearl. I thought oh God I’ll get this, it’s worth a fortune and I heard a horrible roar and I realized oh my God there’s a creature in the cave. I’m not going to risk my life and I ran out and I spent years thinking I wish I had been brave enough to pick up the pearl. And I decided to go back and I went into the cave and there was the pearl. I walked over to it and this little lizard came up to me and looked up. And I picked up the pearl and took it home. Now what’s different right me what was a monster is now a little lizard because I’ve learned how to deal with life and its difficulties and not be afraid and realize I have the potential. And it’s not about guilt, shame and blame which again can relate to religion and everything else they .I was amazed at how few people came to the first support group I started. I sent out a hundred letters 12 women showed up. I expected hundreds of people to come you want to live a long a better life come to a meeting. Why didn’t you show up? I’m not an artist ,I can’t draw pictures  just you know I don’t have time to read your book. They’re afraid of failing. I’ve had people with cancer have their children draw the picture for them that I asked. Because I’m not good at drawing I have my 10 year old son do this lady I’m trying to help you with cancer. You’re afraid of doing a drawing so those are the things um that go on. And I may add it’s harder for men because they’re into doing things. Women are more likely to survive because of relationships. You know finding reasons but I ask the women to relate to themselves to be your own child okay. And for the men to not just think about their life related to what can I do but what can I be a human being not a human doing.

Well, let me put it this way we’re here to give love in our own unique way. So it isn’t somebody else imposing on you. See it isn’t my parents saying we want you to be a doctor, we want you to take over the family business we want you to know be a lawyer, not a violinist um it’s how do I want to contribute love to the world that’s my choice. And then to go do it. See if you meet people you’re capable of loving. I was going to quit medicine to become a veterinarian so I wouldn’t have to deal with all the emotions. One of my patients was a veterinarian and he said don’t. I said, why not? He said people\ bring the pets in they you want to be a hero, drive a bus why make everybody gets on the bus feel better, think of the impact you have on the world then because I’ve said that to people I love you but I don’t like how you’re treating me, see because why do I say that I got angry at somebody and she said oh you. you go around talking about love all the time you’re yelling at me I said yeah I don’t like how you’re treating me I love you but I don’t like how you’re treating me okay. Now that could be in a restaurant, it could be on the street, it could be in a store, it could be you know or I don’t feel people are respecting me and treating me as a human being then I’ll speak up yeah whether you call it righteous indignation, appropriate anger it doesn’t matter and what I’ve also learned is Heroes don’t make excuses, they, you’re the worst doctor I’ve ever had. No, it’s you, you’re the worst patient I don’t have problems like this with other patients but if the doctor when I said you’re the worst doctor I’ve ever had, the doctor had said why are you saying that? what is it I am missing? that’s a good doctor. that’s a hero so I tell people and it doesn’t matter whether you’re looking for a plumber or a doctor you know what I mean you say are you criticized by the people you work with, the people you work for, and your family. You know, what the best people say, Yes!  I’ve done this to doctors in public when people look at me when I ask that question I say you ever criticize my patients family and nurses and they go yes and then I say to the audience that’s why I asked the question I knew that’s what his answer would be because he’s a good doctor he’s learning from his mistakes. I learned that because I thought I was the worst doctor. I said to a nurse one day what the hell is wrong with me? she said what do you mean? Well you keep telling me what I’m doing wrong, She said no we know you care and listen so we tell you when there’s a better way of doing things there are a lot of doctors who don’t listen so we don’t even talk to them.

Well, see then it’s up to them I mean they could be fired and say God is redirecting me something good will come to this. It has to do with how they’re brought up so well that I don’t know where I was reading the story but it was on the Internet or whatever but this guy got fired from his job he’s walking home umm…somebody sees him, offers him a ride, they’re talking about what happened before the ride is over the guy driving offered him a new job. He say, how the hell does that happen? see, but that’s the kind of thing when I said to you about a book of miracles that people sent in all these stories that were so incredible you know it out of the worst things this miraculous event happens who I meet what happens. Yesterday, I..I’ve been feeling very sad about a lot of things and I needed help and one of the things I look for is finding pennies now the author Jose um William Saroyan’s wonderful book the human comedy, he talks about pennies too and always loved them and once I was giving a lecture and talked about him who was in the audience, one of his daughters, how does that happen when I bring his name up but anyway why the penny? Liberty, see the freedom to be who you are and God we trust and Abe Lincoln who reminds you hey you’re here for a limited time. So you know, I’m talking to God I park my car open the door there’s a penny right at the door of the car, I start walking towards the store to get these new eyeglasses another penny and another penny they’re in my pocket and it was like thank you God. Now, how many times you’re going to find three pennies like that, to where, you I mean, I’m in a big parking area you know outside Stop and Shop kind of thing. I mean why the hell did I pull into that space and walk that way and when my mother died I found about three dozen pennies on our driveway. There’s no way you can explain it. I would go to the mailbox, find Pennies on the way back the grandchildren came up with a term oh they’re Pennies from heaven so yeah there were times I’ll say to God I need a sign and if I find a Penny thank you, No, I think you see you call the miracles, I mean to me a miracle is something that is not explainable okay, it’s not just an unusual event but it’s something not explainable how it happens and they always say like the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah. I mean if you have enough oil for one day and it burns eight days how the hell does that happen? so to me that’s a miracle. Creation yeah, as Einstein said you can either look at it as a miracle or not but um…when you can’t explain how something happens then it’s miraculous but again I feel that those things happen when people are caring and loving. If I may give you one example that I like from that book um…these people had a car uh Pontiac oh Le Mans and they were discharged from the Army in California and we’re going to drive home to have a vacation, husband or wife. Everytime they came to a hill, the car slowed down and no mechanic seemed to know what was happening and I say to people what would you do? keep driving during the day and say the hell with you know if we get in people’s way that’s their problem but we’re trying to have a vacation or we do drive at night and not bother anybody, well they made the decision to drive at night and not drive everybody nuts. In the middle of the night, they’re driving through Arizona they come to a hill they pull over there’s a car behind them, car pulls up and stops which made them rather nervous but when the man came over he said I’m the original designer of the Pontiac Le Mans, I know what’s wrong with your car I’ll fix it for you and it had to do with a siphoning hose that was meant to conserve fuel but was draining it. So he plugged the hose and they drove home with no problems, now how the hell does that happen? what are the odds of meeting the designer of the car in the middle of Arizona at night okay to me yeah, that’s a miracle but it’s about our consciousness and the choices we make

it’s not just saying all right God fix this. See but to realize you have the potential, the way I put it is, God would you please come in, they come in and supply me there’s a book um…..oh dear! uh,,,,,the energy cure- William Bankston. You inject mice with cancer and then he holds his hands over them and sends them that healing energy and pictures them as well. The cancers dried up and disappeared. Now we can do this in people too but you see that’s why if we’re not the hero if we’re thinking, worrying that kind of energy doesn’t flow. I had an injury in my leg, A Healer alga War I was speaking at a medical conference. My wife said go ask her to help you. I said it’s nuts, it’s hard for me to believe what she’s saying. If you can put her hands on and give, so my wife went over and said would you help my husband. She put her hands in my leg and the key thing is the heat, the heat from her hands was like two hot Irons. Five minutes later, I was perfectly well, no trouble with my leg so again it’s that energy and what Bankston was saying is….like when I work on my wife every morning picture her, riding her bike, playing tennis, performing on stage as she used to and you know send that energy in to bring back. I call it repair, restore, and resurrect. You know to bring back because there was a sentence over the other day that we all grow older but you don’t have to get old if you know what I mean you know how you’re behaving, living what you’re doing

That’s a nice excuse! but the genes don’t determine what you do. As I said that’s why it’s called epigenetics, the genes have to get a signal then they act so there are people you know who have alcoholism in their background and aren’t alcoholics and there are people who have genes as I said for breast cancer see it’s easier, I mean I know more studies with cancer that you have identical twin sisters. One’s a submissive little thing who makes Mommy and Daddy happy all the time, the other one’s a devil who’s doing her thing and living her authentic life who’s more likely to get breast cancer and everybody in the audience says the good girl yeah and it’s true when you do studies, so again you can use yeah my parents, my jeans or you can say no I have a choice see that’s why I say when you look at the bottle of liquor you can say you care about yourself don’t drink it then you’re doing the right thing not oh well you know my jeans out let me have a drink yeah, and that’s what I’ve learned to that saying no can be saying yes to yourself because you’re saying no to what isn’t good for you.

I think it’s about how we’re brought up and trained, as I say a big part of it I think is to the medical profession too that we don’t empower people because we’re not educated about caring for people. We’re taught how to treat a disease that’s why I said that ad in the medical journal. “I’m depressed, unable cope, I went to my doctor he prescribed an antidepressant” I wrote to the journal New England Journal medicine and sent those pharmaceutical companies. I said do me a favor, put another sentence in sit down tell me what’s going on in your life and they canceled the ad because I mean you’re not treating a person I’m depressed “here’s your pill next patient please” so what we need to do is look at ourselves okay we can create our own antidepressants. You can laugh every two hours, you can find a new job, you can end a relationship. You know that you have to care about yourself and yes and as I said speak up when you’re not being treated with respect.

Well, it becomes chemical yeah our emotions create our chemistry so both things are happening. That’s what people have to understand as I said when you study the actors and and give them you know the murder versus the comedy, their blood chemistry has changed while they’re just reading a script so you watch broadway in the winter who gets sick, death of a salesman who doesn’t get sick. Mel Brooks you know play and stuff like so when you’re having a joyful experience every evening, you stay healthy when you’re having a tragic experience, you’re more likely to come down with the flu, talk about Consciousness the study of of doctors you see when the patient came out they were studying people with the flu. It was a doctor compassion that doctor care about you, listen to you, yes they got better two or three days sooner than the patients who said no my doctor doesn’t listen doesn’t yeah that’s what we’re told it’s a chemical imbalance so we’ve got to adjust it but why wasn’t it a chemical imbalance four years ago. They, I was going to say people win the lottery that could straighten out their chemical imbalance because now I pay all my bills but most lottery winners tell you it’s the worst thing that ever happened to them five years later because it screws up their life, I mean this is again in studies because now they have  all this money, they’re getting fights with the family, who wants. what, It gets nuts but you see if you’re here again to be a hero to share your love with the world to start a new charity uh….rather than build the mansion then you’re going to have a nice day and you’ll sleep peacefully because you’re making it a better world and we can all accomplish that. I worked at subway because one of our sons ran a franchise and people would come in and say I want a sandwich and see now I had power over them and I would say if you want a sandwich I have to answer my question “what’s your question” what’s the best day of your life, how would you introduce yourself to God, what’s evil, who can you love, who can you hate um…I have like a hundred questions I would ask and we get into therapy. I mean it the only people who wouldn’t answer were therapists it was so funny they’d come in and say I’m here to eat, not answer a question. I say you a therapist “how did you know?” yeah they’re therapists and they don’t want to talk but everybody else would talk to you and sit down and have therapy sessions because once they got started talking they didn’t finish the sandwich and walk out, they would talk to the people who came in about their answers, meaning one lady what’s the best day of your life “oh when I gave birth to my daughter” somebody else said “you’re wrong” she said “what do you mean I’m wrong” today is the best day of your life see those kinds of things would get started and people loved it and uh we would have therapy sessions and that’s why I love doing it, 

while I was a surgeon but when I had free time I’d go in there and make sandwiches for people and have a wonderful time talking, will you attend an anti-war rally? she said “no” and the people were very upset and she said “if you ever have a peace rally call me” that’s the essence of it too see, don’t have an anti-war rally, have a peace rally and I say the same thing to people with their disease “stop fighting a battle, stop trying to kill the enemy, heal your life, and yourself and your body” because how many headlines we read loses battle fails no people die in the hospital they don’t even say the word dead you know your past, failed, gone, lost, no people die but again work at healing your life not fighting a war, that’s why I say if you focus on the enemy you’re empowering your enemy, look how much you know time you’re focusing on the enemy and how do we kill them, how do we eliminate, how do we. What if you said how can I make my life a lot better? how can I heal myself in my life? ah what a different feeling. I mean, if i was the president and I always wish I was the Surgeon General but if I was the president I would say to our enemies, “hey I love you, is there anything I can do for you to help you instead of buying weapons and building bombers, I’d like to give you some money to make your country a better place” what do they can do with you then imagine getting up and saying that in the United Nations I love you all and I want to help you, instead of we got to kill you and fight battles uh..with you yeah um and the reason I say the Surgeon General because I say to people I love you, if you need a father I’ll be your father. I’m not going to make smaller bottles of soda, I’m just telling you I love you, I want you to love yourself and not drink all that sugar because to me that’s what’s stupid you know “we’ll put a label on cigarettes so you know it’s bad for you” who that, 10 percent of people who have the surgery for lung cancer start smoking again you know so I always say it isn’t information that’s the problem, it’s inspiration. Heroes Inspire us, they make a difference, giving everybody information-this is not good for you, this is not good for you that doesn’t change anybody, idiots and not the reason people smoke and drink and a hundred pounds overweight. It’s their life that it’s about and how they feel about themselves. So when I say no to something that isn’t good for me I’m proud of myself, I can’t do that 100 percent of the time, if you know what I mean.There are times I can open the refrigerator and say ah you deserve it. you’re having a tough day give yourself, this is a better way of putting it, I was saying to people you have 15 minutes to live what would you do one guy said, “I play golf” I didn’t think that was too great an answer because most people are I call everybody I love and say I love you, one of our kids said, “I buy a quart of chocolate ice cream and eat it” I said, “you’re okay” the guy with the golf said, “but what if golf is my chocolate ice cream” I thanked him for that because he woke me up now, I don’t admire the people who say “oh I get on the phone and call everybody” who the hell wants to spend the last 15 minutes on the phone, go play golf, go get a quarter of ice cream. You know what I mean, so find your chocolate ice cream and live it then you will live your longest healthiest life, when people live to be a hundred they had a reasonable diet they were active and that didn’t mean they belonged in a gym okay they moved and they had relationships that’s the key, have a heart attack study done in Australia, go home to a house with the dog, a year later um….what was it 26 percent of the people had died in the house that with no dog I think it was 24 percent yeah, in the house with a dog six percent had died, he’d said, “what the hell difference a dog make” oxytocin serotonin levels go up on your pet dogs they’re bonding hormones, I mean anybody who has a dog nose, you take a dog for a walk everybody talks to you um…..a matter of fact, I always tell the single women, “you want to get married get a dog first and take them for a walk” because a large percentage of the women said the man they married they met walking the dog but again it’s the talking the relationships because the people say to my dog who’s sitting behind me oh hi cutie, I say excuse me who are you talking to me or the dog, see then smiles and we talk to each other yeah you know. I think it relates again back to the hero again that you’re here to contribute love in your manner and that some wonderful sentences “if you want to live forever love somebody” and the reason I say that um at the end of The Bridge of San Luis by Thornton Wilder this paragraph because again you see the coincidences you’re on a bridge when it breaks and you die okay “what did they do wrong why did God put them you know on the bridge” it ain’t about that and we ourselves shall be loved for a while and forgotten but the love will have been enough, all those impulses of love return to the love that made them even memory is not necessary for love there’s a land of the living and the Land of the Dead and the bridge is love the only survival, the only meaning and my friend William Saroyan in the human comedy um…..which is very similar to what’s happening in the world today, war you know, World War II and one brother dies and the boy is told “the best part of a good man stays forever for love is Immortal and makes all things Immortal while hate dies every minute” you want to be a hero,be a Love Warrior! yeah hating doesn’t accomplish a damn thing except separation when you look at all the races religions you know we find things to hate each other and what’s wrong with you and we all have the same God. I mean that’s why I say we’re all brothers and sisters. We all come from the same thing I really feel that the message we’re all made in the image of God is because we’re made out of the same stuff you know if you really study creation it’s unbelievable, who decided how to make oxygen you know, I mean these things weren’t all there to start with um….and I think that you know, when you look back well Joseph Campbell again the religion is a misinterpretation of mythology, you tell that to people they get mad at you but he’s saying that it’s the message we need to get from the religion you know, not my God is a better God than your God and uh you know that we’re killing each other over that um but that it’s the message That we’re All God’s Children and we’re all here for the same reason, um….you know we’re god with skin on if you put it that way you know the body and the hero represents that kind of love and that kind of caring it’s like God walks into your room and cares about you see in one maybe one last comment if you don’t think of anything else was a doctor this again was a wonderful thought and wildest Story the pool at Bethesda an angel shows up at the pool it’s like a pond and if you’re there when the angel shows up and you walk in the water the angel stirs the waters and you healed of all your problems and the doctor’s got lots of problems he goes there all the time and one day ah unlucky the Angel’s here he heads for the water what do you think the angel does steps in front of him says not you you draw back hi just because I’m a doctor no without your wound where would your power be it’s your Melancholy that makes your low voice tremble into the hearts of men the very Angels themselves cannot persuade The Wretched and blundering children on Earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living in love service only the wounded soldier can serve drawback doctor turns around starts walking home and on the way all the doors open of different houses hey come in here our daughter sits and talk only talks to you come in here our son’s locked in the bathroom he only comes out when you’re here and he realizes it’s his woundedness that helps him heal others and One Last Stop and Shop Story I’m checking out and I’m poked in the back I turn around lady with a bandage over her eye you’re the only person in Stop and Shop who hasn’t asked me what happened that blew my mind she’s got a bandage on her eye and everybody there talks to her because she has a visible wound now I’ve got a crazy sense of humor so I said yeah well I know what happened because I have an abusive spouse also and then she kind of looked at me like what but that impressed the hell out of me and I tell this to people all the time you want to hear things from people who you work with every day that you’ve never heard before put a bandage over your eye or on your arm and go to work and watch what they tell you now that they see you’ve got a problem see because you go into Stop and Shop you don’t say oh that lady has breast cancer, that guy has colon cancer, he’s had a heart attack. 

You don’t think that but I know it’s true that they’re all wounded so I treat everybody there in the same way and I get to know everybody because I talk to everybody and we become friends and we all feel better when we go home and I think that that’s what the hero understands that everybody’s wounded so we’re here to help each other and to keep that sense of humor. I was a police surgeon for a lot of years in New Haven and one man called my office and said Dr Siegel yeah, what is it Jimmy “I’m committing suicide” now what would you say to somebody over the phone, it’s going to commit suicide. I said you commit suicide I’ll never talk to you again. 15 minutes later, he can crash in into the office and I thought it was going to throw me out the window, screaming at me and he was a former football player so this is a guy who really scared me, he’s screaming you idiot, you insensitive, son of a bitch, you’re right I’ve got a gun in my mouth I’m gonna blow my brains out and you say that stupid comment. I said did you notice something, “what” you’re not dead then he looked at me like oh you smart ass, you did that on purpose, we became lifetime friends you see then I’m his hero and um….you know but again it’s it’s almost like I always say there’s a child in me alive, see when somebody says sign here, I’ll write here, print your name “y-o-u-r-n-a-m-e” okay wet floor is my favorite next time you walk into a building it says wet floor go ahead but you know people if see, if you meet other children it changes your life, nobody’s allowed here that’s one of my favorites I walk in and the god yells “nobody is allowed here” I say “I know I’m a nobody” now most of them assume you’re and let you go but one guy came over and scared me because again I thought oh…you know he looked serious and that he’s gonna throw me out the door, he came over put his finger on my chest said “I’m making you somebody you have to go now” see I gave him a hug because you meet another kid, pull into a parking lot. “I’d like to go home in a Mercedes” guy said to me “you have a color preference” see then we’re two children again laughing with each other pull up at the toll station “how can I help you” get out of the car and collect the tolls let me go home so again people are smiling you know they remember you, you’ve been a hero because if they’re stuck in a toll booth all day long and you made them smile they don’t forget you oh at the vet, I have a stool specimen for my cat oh can I have it please. I reach in my pocket and I take this thing out that looks like poop and the technician looks at me like God what does it matter with him and runs in the back to get a cup when she came back I said I’m kidding here haaaa (laughing)  but she said to me a few days later, “thanks I told my family what happened we all had such a good laugh” see then you’re remembered and people know not to ask me how are you because this is true when I said wounded I used to my wife stopped me once and stop the job and said “you know you think what you’re saying is funny it’s not” I said “what do you mean” people would say to me “how are you” like you get to the checkout counter “how are you today” I’d say “I’m out of my antidepressants, my doctors away on vacation and I can’t refill my prescription” and my wife made me aware of people behind me were saying, will these help you the checkout clerk said “come to my locker, see if any of what I have will help you” and I wasn’t hearing that until she pointed out it ain’t funny that the world you know you talk about antidepressants half the world is on it see, that’s the solution take a pill but it’s not the solution, the solution is to make others feel better and you feel better to spread some love, to spread some laughter, to be a kid and so that’s what I enjoy yeah, in some stores people have even said to me when I said “I’m out of my internet” one guy said, one of the clerks “you’re a doctor, you can fill your own prescription” I said “oh thanks I didn’t think of that” I mean but haaaa (laughing) you know, but I mean now there are a lot of places I go into and the employees will tell me “I was told not to ask you how you are” because they know I come up with all these crazy answers but one last story because all these things that happened to me, at a local pizza parlor or needs Pizza, I always go in and say “it’s my Chinese food ready hey” and what do you think they actually had one night for me I said “is my Chinese food ready” they put containers of Chinese food on the counter and the whole restaurant is laughing see because the boss got me this time you know what I mean because usually the waitresses don’t know me as much as the guy who runs a place and they’ll say, “I think you’re in the wrong restaurant” haaa (laughing) yeah because they don’t know what this nut is doing here in the pizzeria asking for Chinese food but again they don’t forget you when you’ve been that kind of crazy kid so you become as I say a hero to them um because you bring some humor and some joy into their life there’s a wonderful statement. I was reading uh cancer award by Solza Nissan, see you get well and you’re not supposed to that’s why we talk about miracles, doctors talked about spontaneous remissions, Why they say spontaneous because they don’t know the patient see, I learned to say to patients “how come you didn’t die when you’re supposed to” I mean it I’d be out lecturing I’d look in the audience and I’d think oh my God I thought they were dead um and you’d go down and say how come you didn’t die they always had a story to tell you right. One man, if you don’t mind one more story um because as I said childless women get it men when they retire, he retired as a landscaper, developed cancer. I told him “I couldn’t cure him after surgery, needed more treatment” he said “no I’m gonna go and make the world beautiful so when I die I leave a beautiful world” he didn’t go home to not die just to leave a beautiful world. Six years later, the nurse handed me his chart I said he’s dead “open the door” there sat John, I got a Hernia from lifting boulders in my landscape business, he became my teacher, see about what a beautiful world this is and I feel that way too. If I walk the dog and I can fix somebody’s fence or I fix the door on their mailbox while we’re walking around I do it I mean you may say it’s crazy, no I feel better making something better you know what I mean in the world whether it’s picking up a dead branch and taking it off the street or fixing somebody’s mailbox because I know it’s a gift to me, I don’t care if they know or not but in solzene’s book, cancer word and I may add John died in his 90s with no sign of cancer ever again, solzene has one of the men come into the ward says look I found a book in the medical Library, it says that here there are cases of self-induced healing not recovery through treatment and that’s what I’ve learned it’s self-induced they, the genes can be turned the offer on, no different than the bacteria becoming resistant to antibiotics they altered their genes and it was as though self-induced healing flooded out of the great open book like a rainbow colored butterfly and they all held up their foreheads and cheeks for its healing touches that flew past only the gloomy party have with a hopeless and opposite expression on his face croaked out, I suppose for that you need to have a clear conscience when I read that I knew that intuitively solzenitsin knows exactly what I’m talking about because he had cancer say what is the rainbow colored butterfly, the butterfly is a symbol of transformation for you know, breaking out of the cocoon and the butterfly, what’s the rainbow your life in order literally every color we didn’t get into this discussion has meaning just as purple and spiritual, red is emotional, blue is a healthy color like the sky, green, you know I often say who decided the plant should be green okay but to me it’s a combination of the yellow energy and our creator you mix the blue and the yellow they got green, it’s a life color now not an accident stop signs are red okay and go ahead is green so these colors have meaning unconsciously to us but when you create the rainbow, you create the peace and the Harmony and the Rhythm and that’s what everybody needs to find. Many years ago, I grew up in Brooklyn in New York and I said to Norman Vincent Beale “I can’t take the city anymore I love the country” he said “Bernie it’s not a matter of city or country, it’s a matter of Harmony, there are many people who love the energy of the city and it helps them to be more creative” and that meant a lot to me for him to say that you know that that’s what we each need to find our Rhythm our Harmony and then we’ll live our longest healthiest lives because it’s not something imposed upon us by authority figures.

I would well in a sense say, if you want to have children you need to have a parent license, see think of it we have birthing classes why do we have parenting classes in other words I would help people be trained to raise children and it would include teachers, doctors, all professionals because we’re capable of re-parenting them. I know teachers who have saved children’s lives say, think about this I mean these are true stories, first grade teacher screams at you “tents aren’t purple and not hanging your picture up on the wall with the other children’s. tents are colorful people, purple’s the color of people are dying you don’t make it” that second grade Mr Bart has said, “draw a picture” I left my paper blank, he came over puts his hand on her shoulder and says “its snowfall, how clean and white and beautiful” and she wrote a little booklet about purple as an adult he saved her life he re-parented her. She’s Not Afraid now see, of creating a drawing , of doing something, of being wrong, and I think that’s the key so if I were the Surgeon General we would license parents now what that means is you have to take a class know how to bring up children because our oldest said to me “how come they don’t have to do what I had to do” I said. “I learned those things weren’t important” you know, a lot of rules and regulations you had to protect them but I realized no they need to have their joy and their fun too and not me making all these rules to protect them so again, parents would be licensed. We would have pictures, we would have a mirror hanging in the doorway of every public building and school with a sign over it that said “look at how beautiful meaningful life is” okay so every kid who comes in, every building you walk into, you’d see yourself with that sign look at how beautiful meaningful life is and it, it would create that self-worth so people would take care of themselves and see that about themselves and hmm yeah and something I just wrote in my newspaper article that I said, “I want you to know God loves you and so do I” and that could be put up too with that mirror God loves you and so do I.